”Blaming other people@
Imagine a situation where a child is going to give some sweets to another child. There are many different reasons that could make him/her do so. For example, a two-year old child will show satisfaction by giving others something. The child thinks that giving is a good thing and would be pleased to give away sweets. When he/she becomes aware of likes and dislikes, he/she thinks, "I will give it because I like him/her". They will also say, "I don't give it because I don't like him/her." As a child becomes more competitive, they will think, "I will give it because I lost". A situation like this implies that a child makes decision against his/her own criteria.
Learning various criteria.
Others blame not only their parents but all adults in general. They sometimes target teachers (and if the parents believe it, they will in turn blame teachers as well and the problem arises). The characteristic of the ADHD children is that they persistently blame others.
Following the Rules@
One of the reasons for such change is that they start to recognize that a child will grow up to become an adult one day. Also they learn to "follow the rules" and "repeatedly" "do the same thing". As they follow the rules and repeat the same thing over and over, they understand that "I can make improvement". In rehabilitation program of the infants, four- to five-year old is a general starting point for the training. They now think, "I want to do it better, I can do it." and positively work on rehabilitation.
As they become aware of their own improvement, they are able to start
picturing their future. That's why they can answer "Motorman"
or "Nurse". This is also the period of omnipotence when a child
feels "I can do anything". The recognition of growing up, the
understanding of rules and ability to challenge and improve are supported
by inner structure of omnipotent self, and that makes the children answer
in a characteristically childlike way (if the child cannot answer the
question, find the reason as it is sometimes necessary to deal with it).
Finding out the "external world"
Children at this stage also become aware of the "external world"
that is different from their own world. They started to take interest
in various jobs. They also recognize the ones with handicaps, and sometimes
mimic their movement and laugh. (This is a sign that the child is cultivating
interest to the external world. So adults should not scold him/her emotionally
or ignore the behavior. Instead, they should talk honestly to the child
that some "disease" is the cause for the handicap and then the
child would not laugh at them anymore).
If a child complains that "My father always sleeps in.", he/she has a criteria in his/her mind that tells that sleeping in is a bad thing. If the child knows that too many sweets are bad for your body, he/she worries and says, "My mother eats a lot of sweets". For them, what their parents are doing is breaking the rules, and they should be blamed. Especially if the child has ADHD, he/she tends to adhere to it and becomes over-critical.
The child will blame others, but they themselves may be violent, rough,
or break the promises. Adults may think that their behavior is selfish
and one-way, and become emotional. However, if the parents happen to hit
the child, they will become "Not a good person = Bad person".
”From the monthly journal "The Developmental Education"